


Sick (A Sanders Sides Story)

by LeFandomAddict



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deceit Sanders Needs a Hug, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Gen, Good Deceit Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Starvation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lies, M/M, Non-Compliant to Putting Others First, Other, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), the sides are a bit unsympathetic at first but they get better eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23733178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeFandomAddict/pseuds/LeFandomAddict
Summary: One day, Deceit shows up wearing a face mask and leaves a letter for the sides, telling that he is sick and needs to recover before he can directly interact with them again.But, it seems there is more to than what meets the eye.[my first fanfic here, since the wifi won't let me fully load the pages of wattpad lmao]
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 69
Kudos: 187





	1. Self-Quarantine

He never thought he'd reach this point of time. 

  


Now staring back at his reflection in the mirror above the sink with a soft smile so sincere that he never thought he is capable of doing. It was nothing like his masks of a sly and mischievous smirk or a devious and shit-eating grin that he often had to put on when facing the others. 

  


He had a part to play at those times but now, it was just himself, alone in a bathroom with nothing but his reflection in the mirror. The snake-like facet lightly inhaled in a breath of air before exhaling slowly, soon putting on the unused facemask that he had been holding for a while. 

  


It covered up the smile, much to his clear dismay. Deceit then walked out of the bathroom, taking a black marker from his pen holder before returning inside. Standing once again, infront of the mirror, he started to carefully draw a smile on the face mask, looking to his reflection and seeing it take form. 

  


Soon satisfied with his work, he put down the marker on the empty sink and went out, taking the note he wrote on his bed before exiting his room, ready to share an important piece of news to the others. 

  


* * *

  


It was expected that today will be a usual day for the sides. One by one, they got up from their slumber and met the morning by their own ways, soon meeting up at the dining table for breakfast. Normally they were all there, with the 'dark sides' making their presence short and leaving after they finally got what they needed. 

  


This day though, one person didn't show up:

  


Deceit.

  


It really didn't bother them in particular. Remus guessed he was just busy and Logan presumed he just was preoccupied from feeding his pet snakes, considering the half-snake man's attachment to them. Roman, of course, suggested he was plotting something, probably rubbing his hands together like a comic book villain. Patton was a bit concerned and simply hoped nothing bad happened to Deceit.

  


And Virgil? He didn't seem to really be bothered. In fact, he looked rather relieved this morning. 

  


Roman sighed softly, looking to the last unoccupied chair where most of the others' eyes were glued onto. His brown orbs rolled in annoyance as he then spoke to finally break the searching silence. 

  


"Why are we even looking for him? Jack the Fibber's probably just doing fine, maybe doing sneaky villain stuff. I mean, nothing weird happened so far that has him in it so what's the point?" 

  


"For once, I have to agree with you, Princey." 

  


Virgil said before finally finishing eating his share of pancakes, standing up from his seat and bringing his empty plate to the sink for it to be washed by Patton. Everyone had a turn at washing the dishes each day, though they often scolded Remus for leaving some parts of some of the dishes and utensils not washed and still stained, not that it bothered Remus anyways. 

  


It was fun after all seeing the others get slightly irritated because of a simple heavy scent of coffee from a not thoroughly washed mug or from a greasy stain of cooking oil in the pans. 

  


"Aww, c'mon guys. Can't your pants wait for Double-Dee? I'm sure he's just doin' alot like uh, shedding his skin or something!" 

  


Patton made a slightly disturbed face expression at what the Duke suggested, trying to keep hold of his now failing appetite because of the sentence about shedding. Logan didn't really look fazed as per usual, but rather mentally intrigued now to know if Deceit does shed his skin.

  


Speaking of the devil, the snake-like side made his entrance into the scene. Unlike when he usually just appears, making a morning comment about the main sides before quickly consuming his own share of food to get away from the others as soon as he can, he instead avoided their gaze. 

  


His capelet and other usual parts of his outfit aside from the signature yellow gloves and black bowler hat were now replaced with rather casual and comfy clothing. He also now wore a white, disposable facemask, causing more confusion among his peers. 

  


"Uh.. DeeDee?" Remus was the first to try and approach Deceit, who immediately distanced himself from the dark facet of Creativity, further puzzling him and the others. The snake-like facet then quickly took his own plate of food, along with the utensils, and then left behind a note wordlessly for the sides to read.

  


"What does it say?" Logan was the first to ask when Patton took the note and opened it, reading its contents. He then looked to the intellect, handing him over the note with a slightly worried expression which caused to further catch Virgil's attention.

  


Receiving the letter, Logan's eyes quickly skimmed through the document while Virgil made his way to him. "Did he do something again this time?" He queried, his mind getting plagued again by various thoughts on what Deceit might be up to this time. He had always felt that the snake-like facet was up to no good due to his constant disguising and his possible attempts of separating Thomas from his friends through lies.

  


"No. The letter simply states that he is ill and wishes for us to distance ourselves from him for now while he is still trying to recover. It also said that he would still allow conversation between us and him, but only through letters or notes." 

  


Roman then rose up from his seat, looking a bit surprised but then, a slight laugh of relief escaped his lips, followed with a slight smile. 

  


"That's.. so convenient! I pardon if I sound unsympathetic but we have to admit, this is an opportunity for us to further influence Thomas without him twisting and turning him to the wrong yellow brick road!"

  


Patton opened his mouth, about to protest when he heard Roman's words. Slowly, his lips went to a closure, eating back the words he was about to spill. It did seem like a good chance to help steer Thomas to do the right things, and one of it is not lying. Yes, Deceit is as important as any of them, but then he felt that the side had to be toned down, even for just a bit considering the recent events like the dispute on whether or not should Thomas should go to the wedding of Lee and Mary Lee. 

  


"That.. is quite correct, but then we have to keep in mind that Deceit functions mostly as Thomas's self-preservation, meaning he is not totally detrimental to the host. Too much influence is what figuratively crosses the line for any side here, the same as not doing anything at all to influence Thomas is also damaging." 

  


Logan reminded the light facet of Creativity, who then let out a soft huff. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. We know, Calculator Watch. But seriously think of the benefits!"

  


"It's a new record that I'm agreeing with Princey here for a second time in a row now." Virgil said. If there's anything he felt about the whole thing, it's that he will now have less work on keeping the others from influencing Thomas too much, and with Deceit now kinda off the list, he felt his schedule become lighter. 

  


Meanwhile, Remus needed not to hear what the others had to say about the letter once he heard Logan tell about it, already gone by the time he already heard what he had to know. He later reappeared by Deceit's door, blocked out from directly entering it for some reason. 

  


"Dee? Are.. Are you okay? Can we like, talk for a bit??" Remus called out to whoever was inside the room, knocking on the woody, dark door. Sure, he could care less if some stranger in his territory in the Imagination caught the bubonic plague but this was Deceit, the same person who mostly cared for him when his own brother did not. 

  


There was a shuffling noise for a moment before a yellow slip of memo paper peeked out from underneath the door with something written on it. Remus picked up the letter, examining it. 

  


_'Come in.'_

  


It simply said.

  


Almost immediately, the Duke placed his hand on the knob and turned it, opening the door and quickly stepping in. At the side of the room, slightly near the door, Deceit was sitting on his bed, the plates on his little makeshift table where he sometimes eats his breakfast completely empty now for some odd reason. Seeing the emptied dishes, he assumed that the snake-like facet just really got hungry and ate that fast. 

  


"Deccy, can you please tell me what's going on? I-I'm really confused." 

  


Deceit stared at Remus for a while before writing on another yellow piece of paper before showing it to him. 

  


_'Didn't I tell you and the others already through the letter I gave earlier? I thought I had made it clear.'_

  


"Yeah, I know DeeDee but y'know, I was wondering if I could help you in any way or do anything to shoo your sickness away." Remus replied after reading the note, a look of concern etched in his features as he tried placing his hand on Deceit's hands to comfort him, only to feel his hands get lightly pushed away by the other. 

  


Deceit quickly went to writing again, soon showing another message. 

  


_'Distance yourself from me. That's how you can help,'_

  


He wouldn't say it directly, but he did feel like as if he had been hurt emotionally by just those written words. Even if Deceit was not talking, he could just imagine his voice saying those words while looking at him with the same cold gaze he is giving him now.

  


_'Now please, leave.'_

  


It last said.

  


"I-I... Fine. But if ya need anything, stinky ol' Dukey is here to help you, Double D!" Remus replied with a half-hearted, cheery tone in his voice to mask his growing worry, putting on a bright smile for the other. He then walked out the door, closing it on the way out. 

  


Outside, the smile dropped and he let out a sigh, thinking what could have happened that may be the reason why Deceit changed a bit all of a sudden. Undoubtedly, he knew that the guy had a lot of secrets that he kept hidden from him and the other Sides, but now it felt different.

  


It was not long until he rejoined the others, soon coming back to the usual routine of messing with them and interacting, though it did not feel the same without Deceit in the picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. （・∀・）
> 
> I'm still trying to understand the system and stuff of how a work is made here (since I was mostly used to Wattpad), but thanks if you are liking the story so far.
> 
> I'm also sorry if there are any grammatical errors. I mostly just type up the chapters in a memo then paste them for posting.


	2. Social Distancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange happens to the Sides. 
> 
> Slight Prinxiety ensues and Remus just wants to know what the hell is going on with the world.

Who knew it was so difficult to do very basic thing such as keeping a distance with someone? 

  


They are just within in his reach, out in the open for him to simply approach, talk with, and try to make them understand his situation. Virgil was sitting on couch with Roman sitting next to him, just a few feet away. Logan sat on the comfy armchair next to the couch and Patton was on the floor. And Remus? He just stood a few steps away him. 

  


It felt so painful that Deceit wanted to scream, shout, yell, or just tell what is going on with him. He wanted to just take back everything what he said in the letter, take off the face mask he is wearing, run up to them, and just spill every word his heart kept caged in. 

  


But that was the problem. It couldn't possibly happen. 

  


Even if the distance between him was just a few steps away, he felt the rift between him and others that was as wide as a deep ocean. Remus remained as the thin bridge between them, but it was not enough. There were so many reasons that held him back. 

  


For most of the recent days, Deceit remained in solitude in his room, occasionally visited by Remus. The others? They never bothered really to visit. 

  


He did not take this too heavily, full knowing that he did ask for them to keep away from him. Whenever he felt that slight sting in his heart from this fact, he just tossed the blame to himself and constantly reminded himself that this is what he wanted. That this is fully his fault for being sick in the first place. 

  


The feeling of being alone was no stranger to him, but a close lover and archenemy that he couldn't see yet always there. It's all that he had ever known in his entire life. 

  


His eyes that glistened and reddened from the constant times he's cried in his room in anguish laid upon Virgil, who continued to stay there and act like as if the snake-like man did not exist. He did not know of his pain, and Deceit guessed it was best to keep it that way for the good of all of them. For the Thomas's sake. 

  


God, he felt the tears coming up again. 

  


He quickly turned his gaze away as he exited the living room without a word, heading back to his room to calm his nerves down. Dinner could wait for maybe a day or two, it was not like he'd die from not eating for a few times. 

  


This was not the first time anyways that he decided to skip meals. Food is no use in healing him from his sickness. 

  


In the hallway, he could hear Remus's cautious footsteps behind him. Why was he still following anyways? Couldn't he see that he needed to be alone? 

  


Deceit sped up his walking, hurrying to get to his door. When he finally got inside, he slammed the door shut as quickly as he could before Remus could even stop it from closing. He then leaned onto the wooden door of his, breathing heavy and vision getting blurry again from the tears that came up and brimmed his eyes. Slowly, he slid down as the waterworks silently spilled, with swallowed up cries wanting to get out. 

  


Soon he got up, going to the bathroom and facing his reflection in the mirror again. He took off the face mask that he used for today, with a smile drawn on it like all the previous ones. 

  


In the mirror, he saw the same smile from the day he sent the letter, the only difference now is that there is a bit of blood now dripping from his lips from his choked up sobs, which he then carefully cleaned away. 

  


* * *

  


Remus stood there with a worried expression, eyes looking to the door that slammed shut loudly in his face. Normally he would've been mad or offended at whoever does that to him, but with Deceit, there had always been a concern look in his dark orbs. 

  


He wanted to know badly what was wrong, yet no one could even give him answers. 

  


_"Deceit did not disclose what disease or sickness he is suffering through. I unfortunately have no clue yet as to what he is ailing him, but I will quickly update you if I found anything out."_ Logan told him when he asked. 

  


The time when he said that? A week ago, and he did not even bothered approaching Deceit himself to know already. Pure bullshit. 

  


Remus knew he had to find out, or else his own worries might come to reality like Freddy Krueger being pulled into the real world, and he might not be able to stop them in time. 

  


* * *

  


The main group of four were watching another movie night again as usual, with all of them wearing onesies (except for Logan). To their surprise and relief, Remus was not naked this time, probably due to often following Deceit around in case he needed anything. The two had always seemed to be inseparable, especially ever since Virgil moved into the Light Sides' domain as one of them. 

  


Roman continued to fixate his eyes onto the screen in front of them, expression casual and calm. He didn't really have anything much in mind until the scene when the prince finally kissed the supposedly dead Snow White. At this very moment, he blurted out something he didn't mean to say. 

  


At least, not yet. 

  


"I wish that was us two, Virgil." 

  


This made the mentioned side of anxiousness go eye-wide in surprise, a red tint spreading through his cheeks after. Patton nearly did a spit-take of the hot chocolate he was quietly sipping awhile ago while Logan on the other hand, simply froze in place and stared at the prince-like facet. 

  


Right away, Roman realized his mistake, eyes widening as well as he turned to see Virgil sputtering unintelligibly, unable to make a proper sentence for a moment. 

  


"W-what the hell Roman!" 

  


The facet of Anxiety yelled, finally able to make a conherent sentence. His face was so red at this point that it could compete with the hue of Roman's sash. 

  


"I-I meant to say tha- What am I saying?!" 

  


The light side of Creativity now was more surprised at himself, seemingly unable to cover up what he said. 

  


"..I wish that was us as well-" 

  


Virgil quickly slapped his own hand over his own mouth at those words. What really is going on? Why couldn't he... _lie?_

  


Logan looked further puzzled by this newfound situation, trying to understand what is at play. Whilst Patton was squealing in his place, silently cheering for the two, the side of Logic stood up from his seat and approached the two sides. 

  


"Virgil." 

  


He first turned to look at Virgil, who tried his best to keep calm. It seemed to him that Logan already assessed the situation and might know what is going on. 

  


"Roman." 

  


The intellect then looked to Roman before visually studying both their gazes and current behaviors, thinking further for a moment and then speaking again. 

  


"Tell me a falsehood. It can be about anything." 

  


Virgil was the first to have a qualm at this, seemingly alarmed a bit as he removed his hand from his mouth. Roman wasn't as apprehensive as him at this in comparison. 

  


"But that would summon Deceit! W-what if he does something bad against Thomas?" 

  


"I understand, then again, we need to find out what is really the problem here. So please, just do it." 

  


Logan pleaded. Virgil took some time to think before gathering up the courage, mentally swearing that if the snake-like side appeared, he'd maybe throw a punch or two finally at the scaled side of Deceit's face. 

  


"Fine, uhm." 

  


"Go on." 

  


"I... like MCR." 

  


Roman was the next to look as confused as Logan, slightly raising a brow at the emo. 

  


"But Virgil, you do actually like MCR. Logan asked for a lie, not a truth." 

  


"I-I know Roman, but that's what came out!" 

  


Virgil exclaimed. Soon, the facts dawned upon them. Roman looked to all three of the other sides with a look of realization, all of them equally sharing a surprised reaction at this discovery: 

  


They couldn't say anything that was not true no matter how much they try. 

  


They couldn't lie anymore.

  


It seemed easier said now than done for Patton at this situation. Sure, he strived to believe Thomas is a good and honest person and tried to convince him to be more honest, but seeing now the problem to that ideal, he didn't know what to believe in anymore. With the best that he could do, he tried to look not so bothered by this, but it became difficult now that they could not hide anything anymore. Not even what they feel. 

  


"We should confront Deceit about this issue and possibly, he can fix this. I doubt he would just do this intentionally." Logan soon suggested as he adjusted his black-framed glasses. Virgil though was quick to protest. 

  


"Well, what if he is?! He could be doing this to mess with us or maybe he is planning something! I don't know!" 

  


"You don't know. None of us know. So that's why we need to ask for answers." 

  


The logical facet tried to reason. At this point, Remus had returned, expression that of confusion for a moment before twisting into amusement at seeing his brother and Virgil, both seemingly distressed. 

  


"Well, well, well, what crawled up your asses and died?" 

  


Patton had trouble finishing his hot chocolate at that line, discomfort now etched on his features. Roman on the other hand could care less, and wanted to get this problem fixed. 

  


"What the hell did Deceit do?" 

  


"Don't get your panties in a twist, brother dear. He went into his room simply." 

  


Remus replied truthfully, a usual snarky smile on his face though there was a puzzled look in his eyes. He had no reason to lie and he reminded them constantly of that fact, so why did it seem like they didn't believe him? What is going on exactly? 

  


Soon, the questions in his head were answered by Logan, who then explained to him the whole thing. The two moved to somewhere first with less noise, due to Virgil and Roman still arguing over what Roman said earlier. Not that Remus was bothered by something as little as that, but Logan insisted to change location so that it would be more easier to tell everything without interruptions or distractions. 

  


"While we were watching the scene where Snow White is woken up by the prince, Roman blurted out that he wished that he and Virgil were in the scene or reenacting the scene. Followed by that is Virgil's unexpected agreement to the idea, which normally would've been an answer of denial. We then later came to the conclusion that they were expressing what may be their true feelings, and that they aren't able to hide it or speak a falsehood." 

  


The Duke stared at him for a few long seconds, seemingly having trouble comprehending what he said. 

  


"Uhhh... English please, Logan." 

  


The intellect's face was met with his own palm at the other's response. Clearly he forgot who he was talking to. 

  


"I guessed the stupidity was also included in the Split-" 

  


"What?" 

  


"I mean-- None of us could lie anymore, or even stay silent about our private thoughts and emotions. I don't know if it applies the same for Deceit's case, but that is the problem right now." 

  


"So you're saying is that..." Remus's words trailed off as his eyes went back to Logan, who simply nodded tiredly.

  
  


"... Well shit." 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to hold hands with you all and not apply alcohol
> 
> Haha jkjk
> 
> Unless...? 
> 
> 😳
> 
> ––––––
> 
> Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the next chapter.


	3. Under Monitoring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit requests something from Remus and Logan visits.

It was just after the incident when the Sides finally started passing by Deceit's door in the recent days, but of course, not to exclusively know how he is or what is his state. It was only ever Remus who came to his door and actually seemed to care about how the facet of deception was feeling, trying ever little way he knew to lift the other's seemingly sunken spirits. 

  


Using a black sharpie, The Duke wrote on the green, square memo sheets that he has before slipping them under the door to reply to the yellow sheets that slipped out from underneath to him. In this way, Deceit knew who he was talking to, other than hearing the slightest of muffled sounds from outside his room that obviously belonged to Remus.

  


This all led up until one day, when Deceit suddenly asked for something from Remus that he didn't expect. 

  


_'So, how're you feelin' today, DeeDee? I hope you get better soon.'_

  


Remus first wrote that morning when he came to the door, slipping the note under. Soon after breakfast, he saw a yellow, square sticky note outside the door, sticking out from underneath it. Right away, he picked it up and read what it said. 

  


_'I am fine, Remus. I'm close to fully recovering, don't worry. Also, the door is unlocked. Please come in. I have something to discuss with you.'_

  


The Duke did not think twice and his hand quickly went for the door knob, twisting it and opening the door before hastily stepping in. 

  


The scene was no different from the very first day when Deceit announced he is sick, the snake-like man sitting on his bed with a blanket over the lower half of his body and wearing comfortable, long-sleeved clothing. That day was also the last time Remus had ever been in the room before today. 

  


It took just one look for Remus to notice the many changes in his serpentine friend like the slight redness and puffiness of his eyes or the clear, anxious behavior that he displayed when he finally stepped in the room. 

  


"Dee... are you really sure you're alright?" 

  


Remus did not expect of course for Deceit to shoot him a glare that could pierce like a sharp spear, feeling himself tense up a bit at the cold look he was given. It was so sudden and uncalled for. Soon after, Deceit began writing again on a new yellow sheet before handing it to Remus simply. 

  


The Duke swore that he saw the fellow Dark Side's hand shake lightly before going still and unmoving like stone as he took the note and read it. 

  


_'Didn't I tell you already? I am. I did not let you in my room to make me repeat what I say.'_

  


"I'm.. sorry, DeeDee. I was just worried." 

  


At this, Deceit's expression softened and the stern stare he gave dissolved away into something much nicer. Something that Remus was the only one familiar with, and wished wasn't often hidden due to the other Sides. Another note was handed to him, which he then read. 

  


_'I know. I apologize too for giving the cold shoulder._

  


_I called you in because I missed seeing you face-to-face. I am used to isolation, but I guess you can never take away the feeling of needing to see a familiar face. I'm near to fully healing up, and I want you to be the first person to know if I have recovered entirely. I am thankful for the times you helped even if I haven't asked you to do so._

  


_I feel ashamed that I, who encompasses a portion of Self-Preservation, is not great at taking care of myself. Remus, you've been there by my side for a long time, and I am grateful to have someone like as kind as you stay with someone as difficult as me.'_

  


The letters in the note were written in a smaller size for everything to fit into the paper, though remaining legible and neat. The many words covered up the sheet from front to back, taking up whatever space it had. 

  


"I-I-... Of course, DeeDee. You're my friend and you mean a lot to me. You've been there for my weird ass when Ro-Ro-the-sinkin'-boat couldn't. Why would I not be there for you?"

  


Remus replied with a chuckle. His expression was bright but there was a twinge in his heart, an unseen needle poking and threatening to pierce it. For long, he had known his purpose as someone who was simply just there to do Deceit's bidding if he was ever asked to do something since the other sides did not want to do anything involving him. He was never thanked but simply rewarded mostly with extra freedom to do anything as he pleases. 

  


Now that he is, he didn't know whether to think if it was really Deceit is talking to, or this was really happening. 

  


When he tried to return the note back to Deceit, the snake-like side looked at him and gently pushed his hands away, including the note like as if he was asking him to keep it. If Remus heard the other say the exact words from the note verbally, he might not be able to pull himself together or even keep from his emotions from being more of a mess than it already is. 

  


After so, Deceit wrote one last message before Remus exited the room in a hurry and high spirits with a head full of wonder about the contents of the latest note, along with the image attached to it.

  


_'If it isn't too much to ask, can you get me this thing. Please?'_

  


  


* * *

  


  


The gears in Logan's brain had been turning ever since before he went to bed the day when it is realized that they couldn't say lies anymore. Not that he found the dilemma bothering or disturbing, but because the root of it was confusing. 

  


For several days after the incident, he instructed Remus to update him about Deceit's well-being. Despite the claims of the snake-like side recovering moderately, the problem with the other Sides' lack of the ability to lie continues to remain unsolved. 

  


It was not long until today came, when he finally decided to take matters to his own hands and investigate thoroughly. 

  


After being given some updates again by Remus, his curiosity grew much as how his anticipation did as he walked down the hall, each step closer to the darkly colored door with a gold door knob with the iconic two-headed snake symbol engraved on the wood. 

  


"Hello? May I speak to you?" 

  


He called out to Deceit, knocking twice on the door. The silence remained until he heard some shuffling noises and then spotted a yellow sticky note slide out the door from underneath. The intellect picked up the note after upon seeing it and read what was written on it:

  


_'You may. The door is now unlocked.'_

  


Logan's gaze went from the note to the door after fully reading it's contents, opening said door after and going in wordlessly. He half-expected that the Dark Side's room would've been a bit more dim like Virgil's, but in comparison it looked much lighter in color. The walls were a dull grey that was leaning in to a bleached forest green color, seemingly reflecting that of the walls of a miserable, abandoned hospital room. 

  


The facet of Logic was not one to normally be the very emphatic one among the Sides, but there was the feeling of sorrow in the room that it almost felt like he was suffocating. He tried to keep his emotions from getting muddled up by the mysterious effects of the room, his eyes soon turning to look at the very person who let him in the room.

  


Deceit remained in a sitting position on his bed like before when Remus was with him in the room. His eyes were dull but hard to read, hiding away the secrets that they hold. Logan slowly walked over to and sat on the chair that was already facing the snake-like facet, observant of the other's every movement. 

  


"I just want to talk to you and know about your status on recovering. If you do not wish for me to proceed, I will respect that and take my leave." 

  


There was a silence for a moment before Deceit wrote on a new yellow sheet, giving it to Logan for him to read it. 

  


_'Go on. Two tap sounds with my pen means I want you out.'_

  


"Understood." The intellect replied with a nod before initiating the conversation. It consisted mostly of questions concerning about the other's health, like if he had been experiencing certain things that lead to some illnesses that may possibly be the one he is suffering through now. Most of the suggested symptoms were denied by Deceit, with a few being confirmed. Though, nothing still clicked correctly. The symptoms just don't add up to any sickness that he knows of, almost like as if the other had been lying the whole time. 

  


Logan also noticed behavioral changes in Deceit during their conversation, like his constant tugging of his sleeves rather than his gloves that he usually had more care about. There had also been times when he scratched areas on his arms and wrists, which Logan first presumed was because of nervousness or discomfort. To add to those strange changes were the mood swings, often that of annoyance or irritation from all the questioning. In an effort to avoid further rise of negative tension, the intellect decided to have Deceit ask him questions instead. 

  


Most of the questions were nothing odd in particular, but it definitely made the mood lighter and a bit happier. When asked about his favorite book, Logan went into some sort of flurry as he talked in detail about it, much to Deceit's amusement. By the end of their long conversation, it felt like both of them were smiling of happiness, even if he couldn't see beneath the deceptive side's face mask.

  


_'Logan, I just want to ask you one last thing before you go.'_

  


"What is it?" Logan then queried after he read the note, glancing at Deceit. When there was once a dullness replaced with joy in his eyes, there seemed to be now a sadness piercing through like ink spreading slowly in clear and pure water. 

  


_'Do you think I have worth being here? I mean, considering your situation with the others, everything seems alright without my involvement.'_

  


The next note read. 

  


"Of... course you do, Deceit. You are just as important as any side here." 

  


There was a bit of a change in Deceit's gaze again at Logan. Was he... hesitant for a second there?

  


Slowly, Deceit nodded his head in response before tapping his pen on the sticky note pad that he has on his lap. Hearing this, the intellect got up from his seat and head for the door. Before he decided to step out, he gave the snake-like side one last glance and a goodbye. 

  


He had his mind fully set on leaving again until his eyes caught of something else. Glancing to the room's contents one last time, he finally took notice of the grey, ceramic vase on the desk next to Deceit's bed, which held a bundle of beautiful white flowers with red spots nearing the yellow centers of the flowers. 

  


Outside, the flowers remained as an image that he couldn't take out of his mind along with the many other things he has learned from his visit. He had read about those flowers before in one of the many books he kept.

  


When Logan finally returned to his own room, he immediately went to his shelf of books, soon pulling out a book about plants and their scientific information. After flipping through several pages, he stopped at one that showed images of the same type of flowers that Deceit has. 

  


"... Gum cistus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, some of the clearest messages are the ones people are blind to.


	4. Tested Positive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Deceit decides to finally face the person he has long been avoided before making a final decision.
> 
> Also, Logan realizes something.

Today was the day. 

  


The day when he finally makes a decision to hold on or to let go of everything he held dear. Or whatever was left of it. 

  


Looking at the mirror, he was back into his usual outfit along with the iconic capelet and the bowler hat. The sincere and soft smile was no longer there and in place was the devilish expression he often let on when the others are around. It perfectly covered up the smile he had just for the past few days, including yesterday. This is going to be how he looks when he finally faces him. 

  


When he faces Vir– No. Anxiety. 

  


It was a long time ago when he lost the right to even call his former friend by his real name, and it was a mistake when he continued to call him by that name again when he decided to show up to him in one of Thomas's videos for the first time after so many years. Now, he has to avoid making the same mistake again, even at least for the last time. 

  


Deceit felt he was starting to shake again like a crumbling stone wall, and he immediately pulled himself together into total composure, quickly wiping away the tears that dared to form in his eyes and inhaling and exhaling slowly but surely to calm his nerves. After so, he went out of his bathroom, eyes unreadable and cold again as he soon stepped out of the room after. 

  


His dread and nervousness grew with each step he took towards the living room where he knew Anxiety is. Nevertheless, the expression on his face remained and he kept his hold on the gate that barred his inner emotions strong and desperate, not letting a single one come to surface. 

  


_It's all going to be alright._

  


* * *

  


It would have been a lie if Virgil said that everything is alright. Everything is not okay. 

  


All the details about the past few days were so muddled and made little to no sense. Until now, there is no definite answer to the question whether or not Deceit is really sick or just playing with their empathy for him so that he could manipulate them and possibly hurt Thomas. 

  


It also didn't make sense that he was the only one affected by something. Normally, if Thomas is going through something, all of them would've felt effects from it. This further added to the fire of the belief that Deceit lied, and still can lie. 

  


Speaking of the Devil, his eyes caught sight of the deceptive side, seemingly back to his full glory and even wearing his original outfit from long before he was 'sick'. The snake really had the nerve to show up to him first, huh? 

  


"What do you want?" 

  


Virgil asked Deceit, his guard up and eyes glaring like sharp daggers threatening to pierce the other in all places where it hurts most if he ever tries to do something that Virgil didn't like or accept. The Dark Side looked unfazed by this, standing his ground and looking at the facet of Anxiety in the eyes. 

  


There was silence, but the negative tension further heightened when Deceit continued to remain mute on the spot, a slight smirk on his face as if it was mocking the other's presence. Soon, it really got on Virgil's nerves, his own expression making his displeasure clear. 

  


"What's so funny? Don't you know that I already know what you're up to? Yes, I know now that you are just lying to our faces and messing with us. Nice little trick you did by taking away everyone's ability to lie but yours." 

  


Virgil spat, tone full of resentment and anger that is just starting to bubble like water being boiled. Even after that, Deceit didn't respond, and this made him further mad. 

  


"They will know about this, and when they do, they won't fall for it again. Why won't you just leave them alone? Heck, why won't you leave ME alone?! No matter what you do, I'm not going back! If you think I'll believe anything you'll say, then guess what, I'm not going to!"

  


Just when Virgil decided to finally leave the room, tearing his gaze away from Deceit, he felt his left wrist grabbed by a gloved hand. The grip was not so tight but there was desperation for him to stay. Turning to look at the snake-like side again, Virgil delivered a mean jab at him, causing the other to release hold of him and stagger, stepping back.

  


"D-don't touch me! How dare you show up to me after all the things you did! All you do is try to manipulate Thomas into doing wrong things! If you really just want to help, then please do us a favor and just... **j-just... _GO AWAY!_** "

  


And that hit the final nail on the coffin set for him. Silence fell between the two again until it is broken by Deceit's footsteps as he then wordlessly turned and walked away, heading back to his room and leaving the facet of anxiousness frozen like a deer in headlights. 

  


Virgil continued to stand there, looking where Deceit had been standing. He felt relief wash over him now that he was gone from his sight, but there has been an awful dread that settled upon him and a tight pull in his gut like as if telling him that he fucked up real bad. But why should he apologize? Deceit is a terrible influence to Thomas, so why should he even be sorry for those harsh words that he told him?

  


Part of him wanted to go after Deceit so bad and apologize, but the anger was still there and keeping him in his place like hardened cement around his feet. He felt free but his chest felt heavy as the tears formed in his eyes but forcefully kept from falling. 

  


God, he didn't understand everything still. Why did Deceit just... stand there earlier like as if his words were nothing? Why didn't he fight back? 

  


He hated the feeling that came with the aftermath of it. It was guilt mixed with a rage he long tried to hold back whenever he saw just even a glimpse of the deceptive side. He could not understand everything Deceit does and that made him angry and confused.

  


And that also made him afraid for Thomas's safety.

  


Still breathing a bit heavily, he decided and went back to minding his own business, trying to pretend that nothing happened that very hour.

  


* * *

  
Once he arrived in his room, Deceit leaned onto his door and slid down as the illusion slowly melted away, tears falling from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. The shine that his scales and eyes that he had earlier slipped away and revealed the true, dull look to them. The face mask was still on, just hidden away with the visual trick. It was like as if the confidence he had earlier too disappeared as he quietly cried on the floor.

  


Soon, he tasted that metallic taste of blood, causing him to get back on his feet after and head back into the bathroom. Facing the mirror again, he removed the face mask and revealed the soft, sincere smile that he hid from his encounter with Virgil. 

  


Deceit continued to stare at his reflection, remembering the last few words from his most recent conversation, and possibly, the last he ever heard. 

  


** _"GO AWAY!"_ **

  


The words rang in his ears like a thousand voices said it at the same. He wanted to scream due to the pain, more blood dripping from his lips. It hurt so much yet he couldn't do anything about it other than finally decide his fate. Decide if he should still hold on for Thomas or give up already.

  


And what did he choose?

  


...

  


  


Giving up.

  


* * *

  


It was already 10pm and Logan was still awake. Normally, he goes to bed at an earlier hour to maintain having enough energy in the morning to do his duties. But just this once, he needed a bit more of time.

  


Scattered around him on the floor were opened books and notes and he continously looked into each and every one of them constantly as he tried to piece everything together in his mind. He felt so close coming to the conclusion but there was something missing. His mind went back to the vase of gum cistus flowers that he saw previously in Deceit's room, bothered still for some unexplained reason. They were just flowers, but why is his gut telling him that it's just more than that. 

  


Logan continued to look about through the pages and papers like a madman searching for a needle in a hay stack. He ran a hand through the brown locks of his hair, frustrated by his seemingly futile search for answers and by the emotions that muddled with his thinking. What he needed now was to think rationally and keep calm and not let his unexplainable panic get in the way. 

  


When it seemed like all hope to know the answer is nowhere to be seen, in came into his room a person he least expected to be awake at this time. 

  


"Patton?" 

  


Standing at the doorway was none other than the 'Dad' figure among the Sides and also the facet of Morality. Concern and confusion was written all over his usually cheery-expression features, eyes traveling from the materials scattered about to Logan, who looked absolutely stressed by something and in need of some time to breathe. 

  


"Hey kiddo, you seem to be in.. Low-gan spirits right now. Somethin' bothering you?" 

  


He greeted, adding in the pun intentionally in an attempt to enliven Logan. The attempt is soon proven to be a failure, seeing the intellect's state not even changed in the slightest. There seemed to be hope that formed in the intellect's eyes though, like as if he found the solution to his problem. Almost immediately, Logan got up from the floor, adjusting his glasses for a moment before speaking. 

  


"Thank god you're here, Patton. I need to ask you something real quick." 

  


"O-oh, sure kiddo! Ask away." The moral side stuttered, taken by surprise by the other's haste as if his presence is really that urgent. He watched as Logan pick up an book from the floor, opened on a specific page that he definitely never read about before. 

  


"I wanted to ask if you have some knowledge over the non-scientific definition of flowers, particularly this one." 

  


Patton's eyes scanned the page that Logan presented to him, seeing the images of the flower that it had information about. At first, he thought nothing odd of it, mentally adoring how adorable the flowers looked with it's soft white petals with red spots nearing the center of each flower like paint pressed onto a blank canvas by the gentle touch of a brush. It was not long until he finally noticed the name of the flower imprinted on the top of the page:

  


**'Gum Cistus'**

  


He felt his throat go dry as his eyes widened, gaze falling upon Logan's now puzzled look. "Is something wrong, Patton?" The facet of Logic asked, noticing how distraught and horrified the father-like figure now looked. 

  


"Logan, are you not telling me something?"

  


"What do you mean? I cannot possibly tell omit any present information at this moment, considering the possibility that Deceit took away our ability to lie." 

  


Logan tried to figure out mentally if he had said anything that may be the cause of Patton's current reaction, but on further scrutiny over the things he said just now, there seemed to be no error with him, but there was still something wrong. 

  


"T-then why are you asking me about this one flower? Don't you know what it means, Lo?" 

  


Having emotions was already tedious, but to have complex, mixing feelings of dread, uncertainty, confusion, worry, and many others at the same time made him feel drained that if they got more worse, he felt like he would not be able to breathe anymore. Logan felt inches close now to the truth, and he couldn't just give up the chance now. 

  


"Patton, I don't know its symbolism, which is why I asked you. Please, tell me already. What does it mean?"

  


Logan pleaded, exasperated and desperate now for the answer. Looking at the other, he saw how nervous the other was, eyes looking about the room in slight panic before shutting, as if indicating he is trying to calm himself down and choose the right words.

  


"It means... " His eyes slowly opened, looking at Logan dead in the eye as he spilled out the bitter truth. "... 'I shall die tomorrow'."

  


And at that, it felt like the world came crashing down upon Logan, but also building up into a big, whole picture. It now all made sense, and god, why did he not find out in the first place?

  


The clues were already there the very moment Deceit showed up to them one day with the letter. The long-sleeved outfits he wore, the self-isolation that he made fully possible with the note, the light scratching or rubbing around his wrists and arms, the occasional unexpected shifting of emotions, the puffiness and redness in his eyes, and lastly, the question he was asked before he stepped out of that damned door. 

  


Deceit is not okay, and that fact had been staring at him straight in the face the entire time.

  


"Pat-- Deceit h-he--"

  


With shaky hands and panic etched on his features like scriptures carved into a gravestone, he dropped the book and went for the door, hand grabbing onto the handle for dear life and swinging it open before running out, followed by the moral side from behind. 

  


"Logan, wait!"

  


No, he could not wait. Not when the life of one of Thomas's Sides is at stake. He may have disliked Deceit's attempts in the past to seemingly steer Thomas into a lifestyle that disregards the importance of fidelity. Then again, he does encompass a portion of Self-Preservation, and his main goal is for Thomas to have some attention to himself and not just for his peers. 

  


Logan quickly dashed down the hall, heading toward Deceit's room. The pace sped up when he heard a sound like that of a strangled cry or a scream, presumably emitted by Remus. 

  


At that moment, he mentally prayed that he is not too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -slowly sips tea-
> 
> I'm not sure whether to feel merciful for these characters, or not. 
> 
> Oh, who knows. Let's just see.


End file.
